Kubler-Ross’s Book On Loss

Has anyone heard of Kubler Ross?  She wrote a book called “Death and Dying”.  She presented the stages that people go through when they or a family member are dying.  To this day they are still very relavent and used by care takers that are working in this field.  She goes through the stages of grief that people go through when they are dying and that families go through when a loved one is dying.  It, also, holds true for family members that have suffered the sudden death of a loved one.

When I was in college I had to write a paper in a sociology course that I was taking.  I used Ross’s theory when talking about divorce.  After the professor had graded them, he came up to me saying he wanted to talk to me about my paper.  I thought, “Oh, no”.  I thought for sure I was in trouble.  The truth was that I got an A.  He said that the paper had so much meaning for him as he was going through a divorce.  I did not know this and probably would not have written the paper if I had known.  He was not aware of her theory, but he said that what I said in relating divorce to death and dying was absolutely on target and it had helped him so much.

I think that her theory is relative to any kind of loss, and the loss of a job or career definitely qualifies.  A person that has lost a job needs to go through the mourning or grieving process in order to move on, as does the person that just lost a loved one.

Feelings Associated With Loss

The stages of  grief are denial, (sometimes bargaining), anger, depression and resolution.  Think about it as it pertains to the loss of your job, or especially your lifetime career.  First you are in denial.  You can’t believe that this is happening.  Even if you retired and wanted to retire,  it is still a tremendous change in your life.  You no longer have to get up at a certain time and get ready for work and go to work.  Your whole routine has changed.  You have nothing to do, and maybe at first that is great, but it doesn’t take long to realize that you have nothing to do or to look forward to anymore.  If it is a sudden termination, you just can’t believe it, as you feel when someone dies suddenly.

The reason bargaining is in parentheses is because if it is a sudden death you don’t have time to bargain, so it is not relative to all cases.  If someone is dying the next stage is bargaining.  Often the bargaining is done with a higher power. ” If you let him live until Johnny graduates, I will ______.”  Or the bargaining might be with the dying person—-“Hold on until_____; Marion needs you to get through such and such.”  This can be done with a job, too. ” I will do such and such if you give me one more chance.” Even when someone retires he may question whether he should retire or not. ” Maybe I should wait for a couple of years longer.”

The next stage is anger.  Family actually get angry with the dying or dead person for leaving them.  They, also, may get angry with God, although most do not want to admit that.  You are not supposed to get angry with God.  Of course, when one loses a job this stage is very obvious. ” The boss is a jerk.  How dare he fire me.  I have given him my all and this is how he treats me?”  The person may be angry with himself.  If he is dying, he may hate himself for not taking care of himself better.  “It’s all my fault.  I shoud have eaten better or gotten more rest.”  With the loss of a job, people can really come down hard on themselves and blame themselves for all and everything.

Then comes depression and the depression is very profound.  The person can not do anything.  He doesn’t eat or sleep or he does the opposite and gains a lot of weight and never gets out of bed.  He doesn’t do anything all day.  He doesn’t call or talk to anyone.  He is seriously depressed.  He really feels the loss of the person or of the job if this is what we are talking about.  This is a very difficult stage to get through.

Finally the person reaches the stage of resolution.  He can understand better what really happened.  He is no longer angry at everyone, nor is he debilitated by depression.  He has accepted the loss.  It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t miss the person or job, but he is now able to function and move on with his life.

How long does it take to get through the grieving process?  There is no set time table.  Everyone progresses at his own rate.  Does everyone get through the whole process?  Sometimes not and sometimes one stage lasts longer than another and sometimes one goes back to another stage, but if we allow ourselves to grieve, we will get through them all.  If not, one may have a delayed grief.  It is important to let oneself mourn.  This is a normal process.  It is not something one wants to go through, but it is important to do.

 

Finally Able To Move On.

What’s next?  What does one do now?  Is there a life after this?

 

How can Wealthy Affiliates help?

 

Wellllllllllll, as the title of my website implies it can provide alternative options for the person that has faced and dealt with this loss.  Maybe he no longer wants to work as a nurse or maybe there are no options left in the traditional field of nursing.  However there are options left.  One can start his own business.  Everyone has his own passions outside of nursing.  It is now time to start working on these and set up your online business.

Wealthy Affiliates goes through the steps one by one to help you do this.  Even if you have never done such a thing it can be done.  I am an example of this.  I am basically computer illiterate but Wealthy Affiliate is there to guide you through the process.

In addition to this there is always some one availale 24 yours a day to help you if you get stuck.  Never be afraid to ask a question if you are not sure of what you are doing.  No questions is dumb.  Just ask and you will get an answer as to how to move on.  If you get discouraged or frustrated just say so and someone will be there to support you.

The price is right, too.  For you to get started it will cost you 0 dollars.  After this, the price is still very reasonable, especially, if you compare it to companies that will do it for you.

The company is also reliable.  Just about all sources will agree that it is not a scam.  As we all know this is very important as there are a lot of companies that promise you all kinds of things and money and never come through.  This is not true with this company.  They do not promise that you will make millions in a very short time like a lot of companies do.  In fact if a company promises this think twice about it.  Wealthy Affiliates promises to help you develop your online business yourself and work toward success.  They are there to help you.

 

So once you have managed to get through the tremendous loss of your job and/or career and completed the grieving process give this a try.  It is your new job and career.  You can do it.

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Wealthy Affiliates is there to help you develop your website to get you started in a sucessful on-line business. For more information on starting your own website for your new business click on  Wealthy Affiliates.

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If you have any questions or comments below.

    1. Thanks, for this article I am a retired Geriatric Nurse and looking for something I could do but not leaving the house since I also have to take care of an elderly husband.

      I have never heard of Wealthy Affiliate but it does sound promising and I will take a look at it.

      BTW, I also know the book written by Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross and I too found it very true and well researched.

      • I am so sorry that I did not respond sooner. Yesterday was a very busy day. How are you doing with retirement? When did you retire? I really was not ready to retire, but the agency was trying to get rid of the whole behavioral health team, so I opted out rather than fight. For me it was quite a loss as I worked 60+ hours a week and all of a sudden I had nothing to do. I do think that Kubler Ross’s stages of grief pertain to this loss as well as other losses. I hope you will pursue Wealthy Affiliates and start your own business from whatever you are passionate about. If you click on Wealthy Affiliates in my blogs it shoud take you their. Thanks or the comments and for reading my blog. Hope to keep in touch.

    2. Thank you for a thorough and very interesting post. I have read Kubler Ross and found it helpful to realize that the stages of grief I was going through would eventually get better. My husband was killed in an auto accident on his way to work one morning, we had two children, 8 and 12 years of age. I’m sure you can imagine how hard it was. I wish I would have found Wealthy Affiliate way back then (1980). But I’m thankful for every day and WA has made my life incredibly better. I know that soon I will start making money, in the meantime, I love learning and implementing that knowledge into my work on my site, thanks again for sharing this post ~ riley

      • I am so sorry that I did not respond before. Yesterday was super busy. I am so sorry to hear about it loss. It must have been so difficult for you and your children. Any loss is difficult , but when it is sudden and unexpected it is even worse. I am glad that you found WA and that it is working out for you. I hope you start making money soon. I hope to do so soon, also. Thank you for reading my post and for your comments. I think that Kubler Ross’s theory is great and as I said I think it relates to all losses. Again thank you and hope to keep in touch.

    3. I want to commend you on one of the most informative and well-planned websites I have ever seen. It will serve its purpose and help you find and help a great number of nurses. Or it will find a small number, but just the exact ones the Lord wants brought to your site. Either way, in my opinion, the website is exceptional.

      You make your points about nurses working in dangerous places and long hours, and need a way to use their training in a new way. Wealthy Affiliate trains them for that in many different ways and you show them that fact.

      You have a large niche at the same time a very focused niche and you have approached it in the best way possible.
      Not being a nurse I found the website an interesting read, while I am positive a nurse would find it a captivating read!
      A nurse could see many futures on your website with WA.

      God bless you and keep up the good work!

      • I am sorry I did not respond earlier. I always have trouble figuring out how to do things. Anyway, thanks so much for your comments. You don’t know how much that means to me. I am always wondering if I am doing ok or not. Did you read the email from Kyle and Carson about being average? Well I am always afraid I am below average. Again thank you for saying that it is one of the most informative and well planned websites. I hope it reaches others and I have some success with it.
        I also want to wish you the best on your site. I have not read it yet, but intend to right after I finish this. Please keep in touch. Sandy.

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