I am sure that many of us have been or are in this position. To be told constantly that you can’t do anything right has to have an effect on you. Sooner or later you believe what others or another are saying. Once this happens the person that is being constantly putdown reacts and behaves in one of a couple of ways.
How long can a person go on functioning in a positive self-enhancing way? It kind of depends on the person and how strong he is or maybe how good he is with denial. At first one probably deinies what ever is being said about him or at least tries to tell himself that this is one incident or one person’s opinion. However, when a person or persons continue to put him down, he begins to think that maybe what is being said is true. He begins to believe that he is that horrible person and that he has no abilities or nothing good about him. He feels guilty and terrible about himself. He knows that he is not that capable person that he once thought he was. He now takes it out on himself. He is now depressed and unable to function. He is that person that others tell him he is. He either openly agrees with the person putting him down or he tells himself he is that person. Now he is paralized by all of this and really can’t do anything because he is so depressed.
So, where does one go from here. Probably the thing that one is most likely going to do, is to retreat or give up. Why try anymore? In fact, one probably can not go on and feel like he used to. He now believes and really does believe that he is worthless and can do nothing right anymore. He no longer tries. He no longer puts himself out there anymore. He probably does what he is told to do, but that is it and chances are what he does do is putdown again either by the other person or people or most likely himself. When one thinks that way it probably does turn out that what he does goes wrong. Now, he can say “See I knew I couldn’t do it right”. Sooner or later the person totally gives up and if possible he doesn’t try anymore. He may quit his job or even his career. Now, he thinks that he is not a good nurse, so maybe he should just get out of nursing and find a new career or at least a new job.
Sometimes one may respond in an angry way. Maybe he responded this way before he got to the point where he gives up. Sometimes people will say, “I’ll show you”, and gives it his all to show the agressor who he is and that he can do it. Sometimes supervisors use this as a motivator. This usually is unsuccessful, at least in the end. It might work for awhile, but not for long. The person that is being putdown constantly gets tired of doing struggling and trying to get ahead and finally just gives up saying to himself that the other person is right and he just can’t fight anymore.
Maybe once in awhile, he continues to be agressive toward the supervisor, either out right agressive or passive agressive. This can make both the life of the supervisor and the staff member very difficult. It may result in repurcussions for one or the other or at the very least very unpleasant. In the end they may work it out or it may end as stated above where one gives up and leaves the job or the profession.
Can It Be Fixed And How?
It would be great if someone recognizes what is happening and someone intervenes with either the aggressor or the victim early on. However, most of the time it just goes on and on, until it reaches the above stages. Hopefully, it is noticed before it ends up with the victim feeling totally without hope and receives help so he doesn’t leave his beloved career.
If it has already gone beyond this point, it is going to take some time and hard work to get back to having enough self esteem to move on. Sometimes the person is so far down he does not feel like he can do anything. It may require professional help to do this or at the very least, someone his life that can and will tell him that he is worth it and that he can do it.
How Wealthy Affiliate Can Help!
If the person feels that he can not continue to work in his profession, one choice that he might look into is starting his own business. His own business can be within the confines of his own proression, such as health care or even something more specific to the subject, or it can be anything that really interests the person and is passionate about. Probably most nurses are going to need some help in doing this. The company that I recommend is Wealthy Affiliate to help you with your own business.
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They have a terrific support system. You can reach someone 24 hours a day 7 days a week if you have questions or need support with something. There is a small monthly fee, but it includes just about everything that you need to have a successful on-line business. There are a lot other perks that you get once you join Wealthy Affiliate. To check these out click here.
Hopefully, administration will follow up with the supervisor as well. No one deserves to be put down constantly. Of course one can say that the person should not allow this to happen, but sometimes it does and it can be devastating. It is a terrible waste of a career and should not happen.