This is a complicated topic. There are many aspects to this. Who is offering the help, the experience that the receiver has had with help in the past and how this will affect one’s job.
What Does Accepting Help Mean To Individuals?
It’s difficult for most people to accept help. At some point as we grow up we become independent and to do that you can’t be dependent on anyone else. Really? Is this really true? It does not mean that at all. We can be independent and still need help from others. In fact, it is a sign of strength to recognize when we do need help from someone and to ask for it.
For some, it is hard to accept help or advice from others. Ii may mean to them that we are not able to do something on our own or it may mean that we are in the dependent, child position again and Mommy and Daddy are telling us what to do. It may mean that we are not in control; they are. All of these things have negative connotations for many adults.
What if we looked at it as just another possible way of looking at things. It does not mean that we are dependent; it just means that maybe there are other ways to look at it. We can learn from others throughout our lives. In a lot of cases we do not even have to take the advice or help. It is “food for thought” that can either be incorporated into our thought system or it can be discarded.
Who is giving the advice or help?
It probably does depend on who is giving the advice and whether we asked for it or not. If it is one’s supervisor that gives it, and if it is unsolicited, it probably is more difficult to deal with. In this case, you may feel intimidated and threatened. You may feel like you are dependent. It may remind you of your parents when you were younger.
If one asks a friend that he considers credible and a good source of advice, then the advice will probably be seen from a different point of view. Even if you did not ask for the help or advice, it will be seen in a more positive light. Even if your supervisor gives the advice without you asking for it, but given to you in a non-threatening way, it will be taken differently.
Steps To Take Next
The first step probably is the take the time and try to figure out what is going on and where to go from here. Do not over react. More importantly, do not react or act at all if the advice was just given to you without you asking for it.
Let’s take a step back. You probably recognize when there is a problem long before anyone says anything. This is where you should begin. It is at this time that you need to sit down and explore this first by yourself and then perhaps with someone. It is a good time to start the problem solving technique, which is to define the problem and then figure out what possible options you have to solve the problem. Often times, as I have said before, the real issue is different than what you thought it was. You may ask a co-worker for his input at this point or you may talk it out with a friend. Now it is time to try the solution out and then re-evaluate.
Sometimes one ignores that there is a problem. If one does this, it may become apparent to others and/or to management, which probably means that something is said to you before you reach out for help. At this point, it kind of depends on what is said and by whom it is said and how. It would have been easier and better if you had recognized it first and tried to work it out yourself, as discussed above. The same problem solving technique needs to be followed in this situation, as well, but it probably would have been easier for you if you had asked for help first. It is at this point that, again, you need to not react and take time to discuss the issues with whoever reached out to you or with someone that you trust before doing this.
Hopefully, the person that came to you is sincere in wanting to help you. If not, then probably you need to think about the next step and either ask for a mediator or work it out with a friend’s help or by yourself. Just remember there is nothing wrong with asking for help. We all need help at times.
Do Not Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Many people have a hard time asking for help. They see it as a sign of weakness. They think that they can handle it and many times it is possible if they take the time to think it through. Sometime, though, they do need help and if they don’t get it, the problem just continues and gets bigger and bigger until it reaches the point where disaster is imminent. Another thing to consider and remember is that most people like to help and when that help is rejected, the person offering it becomes insulted and humiliated, which results in another issue. It would not hurt to at least listen and let the other person know you will at least give it some thought. There is nothing wrong with accepting help.
None of us are born knowing everything. In fact, we all have to learn to do just about everything. In order to learn what we need to, we need to be taught by someone that has already learned. Sometimes during the process of learning we have to ask for help from teachers, parents and other adults in our world. This continues into our adult years. Even as an adult, we still have things to learn.
I had decided that I wanted to start an on-line business. I knew nothing about doing this, so I had to find someone that could HELP me do that. I found a company that could help me do this, but I soon learned that they were a scam and I lost a lot of money in the process. I then moved on to another company, that built a website for me, which cost thousands of dollars, but that is where it ended. They did not continue to teach me marketing which is a vital part of this, so here I was again. I had basically learned nothing. They had done the initial website for me, but that was it. I finally found company that did it all. They TAUGHT me how to make the website and then how to market it.
I am still being taught by them. Whenever I do not understand what I have to do, I can go to someone there and ask for help. I am one of those people that has a hard time asking for help, but I am learning that there is no shame in asking. If one person can’t help me, someone else will be able to explain so I understand it. All I have to do is ask for the help. They are actually not only helping me with questions I have about my business, but, also, teaching me that it is alright to ask for help.
The name of this company is Wealthy Affiliate. They teach you step by step how to start your business and then how to promote it. There is a webinar every week to keep us all up to date and to review information that we already have. There is a great support system, as well, and someone is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week to answer any questions that one might have. All of this is available for a reasonable monthly fee. Anytime anyone needs help or has a question, just ask. The point that I am trying to make is that help is available.
If you are interested in learning more about starting your own on-line business, click here.
If you have questions or comments, please leave below.
Have a positive attitude toward accepting help. Do not be afraid to ask and when you get help from someone else, at least, consider it.